1. 첫 빈칸에는 role 과 organization
Instead of: (top box) Model United Nations (description box) I’m the president and started our school’s Model United Nations club. (And don’t repeat words!)
Try this: Founder and President of Model United Nations Organize meetings, coach students for conferences, raise money and awareness for UNICEF causes, awarded "Outstanding Delegate" at every conference attended.
2. 확실하고 측정가능한 결과 강조
Instead of: Raised money for children in Africa.
Try: Raised $3,000 to provide three uniforms and scholarships for students attending the Joseph Waweru Home School in Kenya: http://www.exop.org/home_school.html
3. 설명은 active verb 중심으로
Instead of: Worked at a clinic doing different things. Try: Organized patient diagnosis notes, sterilized tools for surgeries, assisted with x-ray analysis...
4. full sentence 말고 list 사용
Instead of: I raised money to donate to a school in Ghana in Africa by selling t-shirts and bracelets. Try: Arranged advertising events, organized fundraisers, and gave presentations at school meetings.
5. 중복된 표현은 피하고 다양성에 집중
Instead of: Instructing, helping, teaching children tennis (how are these three different?) Try: Instructing in proper technique, while imparting lessons in sportsmanship, health and integrity.
6. 리더십 관련 활동은 무조건 포함
Instead of: I swim on the swim team. Try: Responsible for leading swim practices, planning fundraising events; assisting in recruiting process.