1. Start with Your Role and Organization
Instead of: (top box) Model United Nations (description box) I’m the president and started our school’s Model United Nations club. (And don’t repeat words!)
Try this: Founder and President of Model United Nations Organize meetings, coach students for conferences, raise money and awareness for UNICEF causes, awarded "Outstanding Delegate" at every conference attended.
2. Emphasize Concrete, Measurable Results
Instead of: Raised money for children in Africa.
Try: Raised $3,000 to provide three uniforms and scholarships for students attending the Joseph Waweru Home School in Kenya: http://www.exop.org/home_school.html
3. Focus on Active Verbs in Your Descriptions
Instead of: Worked at a clinic doing different things. Try: Organized patient diagnosis notes, sterilized tools for surgeries, assisted with x-ray analysis...
4. Use Lists Instead of Full Sentences
Instead of: I raised money to donate to a school in Ghana in Africa by selling t-shirts and bracelets. Try: Arranged advertising events, organized fundraisers, and gave presentations at school meetings.
5. Avoid Repetitive Phrasing and Highlight Diversity
Instead of: Instructing, helping, teaching children tennis (how are these three different?) Try: Instructing in proper technique, while imparting lessons in sportsmanship, health and integrity.
6. Always Include Leadership-Related Activities
Instead of: I swim on the swim team. Try: Responsible for leading swim practices, planning fundraising events; assisting in recruiting process.